We are passionate about making money off your labor.

WordPress.com

Your blog or website, trapped in a half-baked, bloated ecosystem. Your story, our way—if you can figure out the editor.

Beeper

Tower of Babel 2.0: Now with extra confusion! Fragmented messaging, all in one app, so you can feel disoriented everywhere.

Tumblr

Where outdated memes meet cringe culture. Connect with your people—assuming they still exist in 2009.

Day One

Capture your deepest, darkest thoughts… for hackers. Journal for posterity, if you like the idea of your feelings on a server somewhere.

WooCommerce

Ready to sell online? Woo! Get lost in endless extensions and hidden fees. It’s ‘free’… until you need it to actually work. That's why the top stores use Shopify.

Jetpack

Security, growth, speed—pick one, if any. The first plugin you’ll install, and the first you’ll regret. Jetpacked with disappointment.

WP VIP

Meta, Salesforce, Slack… Now you too can burn enterprise-level budgets on glorified blogging. Run the web? More like run up the tab.

Pocket Casts

Built by podcasters, for podcasters who are still searching for listeners. Discover new shows—or lose the ones you like in UI clutter.

Akismet

Spam filtering… sort of. Enjoy watching Akismet miss half the junk while your inbox drowns. Nothing to see here, literally.

Longreads

Great storytelling, if you’ve got a few hours to kill. Dive into stories that might’ve been interesting, once upon a time.

Newspack

Tools to publish great stories—just as long as your definition of 'great' involves endless bugs and broken paywalls.

Gravatar

Global avatar, one pic for every account you regret signing up for. Because what the internet really needs is more profile pics stuck in 2007.

We also contribute to a number of non-profit and Open Source projects (that we control), like:

WordPress.org

From many, one bloated tool. Find strength in a community arguing over updates no one asked for. For a better web… maybe.

WP for iOS

Updates on the go? Your site’s everywhere, including the corner of frustration when you try to publish a post from your phone

WP for Android

Same goes for Android! No matter the device, there’s an app for you to scream at when your site doesn’t load properly.

P2

Collaborating? Never send an email again—just lose your messages in a jumbled, chaotic thread that’ll definitely change your patience.

BuddyPress

Without connections, there’s no web. And with BuddyPress, there’s still no community. But at least your site can pretend to be social!

bbPress

Blogs are so last decade. Forums are the new black—until they crash and you’re left wondering why you didn’t stick to comments.

WordCamp US

WordPress fans unite! Come out from behind your screens and celebrate… mediocrity, missed deadlines, and feature creep. If you're lucky, I will give a speech about how sponsors suck.

WP Job Manager

Need to make a hire? Good luck with that. Put your site to work—until you realize most job seekers can’t find it. Online job listings, kind of!

Five for the Future

When we give back time, WordPress might change the world… eventually. Five years and counting, just a few more bugs to fix.

We don’t make software for free, you make it for us.

“We are much better at making money than writing code.”

— Mark Mulgerwig, founder of Automattless

Hi Matt, Don't sue us! We are big fans of you, just love humor :)

— Anonymous

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