We are passionate about making money off your labor.

WordPress.com

A free blog for all—
until you want features. Then,
fork out the cash, please.

Beeper

All your chats in one.
But beware! Notifications?
None will ever stop.

Tumblr

Post your heart’s content,
then watch it vanish in voids.
Congrats, no one cares.

Day One

Write down your deep thoughts.
Share them with yourself only.
No one else will read.

WooCommerce

Sell online with ease!
If ease means wrestling plugins
and random price bugs.

Jetpack

All-in-one, they say—
but one feature works at best.
Your site crawls in pain.

WP VIP

For enterprise use.
Hope your budget’s infinite.
They charge for breathing.

Pocket Casts

Podcasts, loud and clear.
Just ignore the app crashes.
Ads arrive in waves.

Akismet

Spam, it will block well.
But good luck finding real ones.
Ghosts of comments lost.

Longreads

Articles so long,
you'll need a break to recover.
TL;DR, man.

Newspack

Great stories await!
But will you make revenue?
Not without a prayer.

Gravatar

Your face, everywhere.
Because who wouldn’t want that?
Oh right—literally no one.

We also contribute to a number of non-profit and Open Source projects (that we control), like:

WordPress.org

One tool, many bugs.
Find strength in the community,
or better yet, cry.

WP for iOS

Manage on the go!
Unless, of course, it crashes.
Then just reboot—twice.

WP for Android

Yes, it’s Android too.
Crashing’s a cross-platform joy.
Refresh all day long.

P2

Forget emails now!
Instead, endless notifications
you can’t unsubscribe.

BuddyPress

Connect with others—
but wait, no one's really there.
It’s just bots, again.

bbPress

Need a good forum?
Prepare for a slow nightmare.
Just stick with Reddit.

WordCamp US

Gather WordPress geeks!
For talks you’ll zone out halfway.
Unless I'm there tripping.

WP Job Manager

Post a job with ease!
Then pay for features to work.
Freemium strikes again.

Five for the Future

Donate your free time.
Help a project that I own
You will get nothing.

We don’t make software for free, you make it for us.

“We are much better at making money than writing code.”

— Mark Mulgerwig, founder of Automattless

Hi Matt, Don't sue us! We are big fans of you, just love humor :)

— Anonymous

Resist Technofascism. Matt is one of the good ones. After this is all over, look into A16Z, not A8C.

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